Chris Seltzer

Infantryman
Software Developer

On the bright side my hotel has a hot tub

Stopped at my old college hookah bar tonight

In two hours ran into 3 people my ex slept with. It was a night of awkward small talk.

tlcplmax:

Yes!!! The book I ordered came in!

tlcplmax:

Yes!!! The book I ordered came in!

(Source: brokenthimble, via tumblingdoe)

oatmeal:

More comics here.

oatmeal:

More comics here.

I’ve noticed a particular type of girl in New York: “Instagram Hoes”

They watch Sex and the City and want to recreate it. They want to get away from their parents and enjoy their youth. They drink and party and hook up with random men. They get excited when they meet pretentious artists and maybe smoke some weed. They dress sexy and at the same time shame men for staring at them. They pretend to be progressive and political even though they don’t have the slightest clue on any world issue.

Ultimately they waste a few years of their life and don’t care whose heart they break, they’re in it for the fun.  Then when they get to their late 20s they scramble to grab the nearest man who will support them. 

It’s like getting into the NBA - if you are genetically talented, work really hard, and get a little lucky, you can move to the city and sleep around, and enjoy a nice lifestyle provided to you by these men. Maybe 2-3% of the girls will actually land their wealthy dude that wants to support them.

The rest just sort of loiter around, going nowhere, but spending their miniscule paychecks on living way too close to the expensive posh district, new clothes, and various props to APPEAR to be living the lifestyle that the former 2-3% are living. It creates a reality distortion field that is hilarious and tragic at the same time. Because all these hoes chasing the city dream are such great actors and so committed to maintaining the public image of having the perfect life, all these other young girls look around and think “oh… it’s real! I can do that too!”

And what they don’t realize is that the girls who succeed at this hustle - let’s say a pretty girl who moves to LA, meets a rich guy, sucks some producer dick in a nightclub and gets in a movie, etc… she is STILL FUCKED when she turns 30. Despite the payout, despite the divorce money, she has gotten addicted to an unsustainable lifestyle.

I love this idea.

“Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’”

—    Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)

(via tlcplmax)

shittywatercolour:

My experience of Suits so far..